After believing we had beat the cancer, it made a comeback. Waffles began limping and I assumed she probably sprained her ankle like so many of the rats have done in the past. We of course went to the vet to be sure. The x-rays showed the cancer in her shoulder bone had caused a fracture by growing the bone so large. I had 2 options. Amputate the leg and hope that the cancer hasn't spread, and watch her suffer through weeks of rehabilitation, that will probably be in vain do to the cancers aggressive nature, or, make her comfortable with pain medication and wait for her sign that says, "mommy, I've had enough." I chose the latter. Waffles is home now and her and Dandelion are in Gerbers old cage, no ramps or stairs for her to have to climb. We have ordered pizza tonight, no more health food for her. Waffles can have whatever foods she desires, pizza, french fries, cheetos, all her favorites. I am not sure how much time we have left, and I do not know how I can manage making the "decision", but I hope she will let me know. The sadness I am feeling, it is heartbreaking. Saying good-bye to so many friends. Waffles deserves more than 2 years. I have been crying all day, I am exhausted.
Waffles and Dandy are moving into our bedroom, next to my side of the bed. I want to be there every minute, and when I am at work, Jeremy or the Grandratparents will be keeping them company.
I wish I did not love her so much...it would not hurt this bad. But how could I not? The angels who came into my life, and whispered my calling. My first rats, my first rodents after Onion and Coal mouse. My friends. My happy gobbling rat. My Waf Waf. My rodentist. My loud bruxer. My nail cuticle trimmer. My hair groomer. Waffles, the terror of band-aids. Lover of carrots. Lover of Dandelion rat. She smells like soap and spaghetti sauce. My gargoyle, breaking out of her cage to perch on the edge, warding off evil.
Waffles.

Labels: waffles

It has become a custom in Gerbers old age, that instead of ball time, he sits with me after jeremy has gone to bed, and helps me with the last of my days work on the computer. He even sometimes insisted on posting on Facebook. He just enjoyed sitting in my lap and snuggling. Tonight I went in there like normal with his blanket he liked and I found him sleeping. He passed away around 8 tonight since he was in his wheel during rat playtime. He liked being up and watching the rats run the rodent room. My Gerber was an old man hedgie, probably somewhere around 5 or so since no one new exactly his age when he was rescued.
For the last few hours I have been sitting with him. It is custom here that the departed spend their first night in the afterlife with loved ones. I will stay up tonight with him.
I never got over Baby the hedgehogs death, and was not able to adopt another hedgehog, after her. Now that my original hedgie, my Gerber has gone, I do not know if I could ever have another hedgie again.
Gerber came to me trough a friend who knew of his predicament. He had skin issues, dehydration, and diarrhea. We thought he would probably pass away quickly but I wanted to make sure he had a great last few days. We had done it in the past, adopted animals that were to die soon, just to make sure their last days were filled with love. But Gerber, he fought. And after a month of therapy, he was fat and huffing. I fell head over heels for my little gentlemen. In his younger days he accompanied me in a special hedgie pack I made for him, while I ran errands. He loved the outdoors and visitign Jeremy at work. He loved wooden floors and speeding over them in his ball. He loved going after the spiders that attacked mommy in the old apartment. He hated bath time and getting his nails done. He loved to anoint himself. He loved hard boiled eggs,and bananas. He especially loved Gerber baby food.
My Gerber will be cremated and his remains will be added to the family crypt to be buried with me when I pass away, as with all my babies. It sound silly I know. But never having human children, these are my children, and I want to spend this life, and the next one, by their side. I tear up as I write this, typing for the first time in months without Gerber in my lap.
He did not give me any indication he was sick. he passed away fat and full, the remains of a torn up egg still lingering by him. He really looked like he just fell asleep, the way I hope all my babies, and myself will go.
Good bye my sweet Hog, and have a blast with your new wings. I hope you find Baby and all my other little ones at the bridge.

Labels: Gerber